Confessing my Obsessing

For anyone that knows me, this will not me breaking news. I am an obsession-junkie.

You know how some people are like thrill-junkies so they have to get the next thrill in order to feel fulfilled? Well I'm exactly like that, just with obsessions.

Normal people can just 'like' things, or think they're 'cool. Me? Oh no. I read every news article about them, buy t-shirts of them, try every flavour, listen to every song, stalk their facebook page, talk about them non-stop, and say things like 'I'd be happy to live on (insert current obsession) for the rest of my life'.

Now, having read that, you are probably in one of two camps...
1. 'Well that's fair enough, right? We all have foibles, and its not like its hurting anyone.'
2. 'Close the window, lock the doors, she's coming for us!!!'

If you're in camp 2, then don't worry! I'm not known to actually physically stalk people, only in virtual reality. But there's always a first... I joke, I JOKE!

But if you're in camp 1, then I must tell you that you are most terribly wrong. Maybe its not hurting anyone else, but its sure-as-eggs hurting me!

Every time I get completely hooked on this one thing, be it tea, The Hunger Games (Team Everlark!!), a band, or a certain lovely young gentleman who is remaining completely and utterly nameless *moving on*, it starts to take over my life. It consumes my every thought, and I start to dwell on it, thinking about when I can next get another cuppa, read another chapter, watch another band interview, or simply see said young gentleman.

But I don't want tea or a book or a band or a crush taking control of my life, no matter how amazing I may think they are. No, that's where I want God to be. I want to constantly be thinking about him, when I'm next going to see him work in my life, meet with him in prayer, hear his words in the bible, feel his touch on my heart, and talk about him with other people.

Because a book won't be there when I fall. A band won't be there when I'm lonely. Even a guy won't be able to plan my future perfectly. Only God can. So I want to be completely and utterly obsessed with him, because I'm told that He is completely and utterly obsessed with me...

Mould me

I want to be like clay.
I want to be shaped and moulded my Him.
Him who knows me better than myself.
Him who formed me before time began.
Him who sees the true desires of my heart.
Him who has planned my future accordingly.
Him who sees all my actions, yet still chooses to love me.
I want Him who knows me best to make me better.
So I surrender to the Potter's Hands,
And beg from my heart,
"Mould me."

Seeking Simplicity

Sometimes life just gets far too busy.


The world plagues us with layers and layers of junk. It's not always our fault and it rarely seems avoidable, but we're often the ones left to deal with it. And deal with it we must.

Either we sit under the pile of worthless garbage and let the world walk all over us. Or we ask God to start stripping away the layers or trash, and being to live in the freedom of simplicity.

Simplicity is good.
Simplicity is freeing.

But simplicity is scary.

Simplicity means that there is no longer anything for us to hide behind. No excuses. When the layers are gone, then all that's left is us, which means that everything we do is a direct reflection of ourselves. It's not a reflection of the mess in our lives, or the clutter that's skewed our moral judgement. No, this is just us. 100%.

But however hard it is to be that vulnerable, and to lose those layers that provide 'security' however useless, I'd rather live a life that allows me to follow God and seek his heart, rather than living a lie. Living the lie that I can get away with sin because 'I had no other option'. That my words don't matter because 'They provoked me'. That the way I dress doesn't matter because 'It's how I express myself'. That my actions don't matter because 'It's all harmless fun'.

I want every action I do to count for something bigger than myself. I want my life to count for God's plan for this earth. And to do that I need to clear out the clutter and seek the simplicity, however vulnerable it makes me, of rejecting the world's lies and living in God's truth.

What junk do you need to be getting rid of this weekend?

A Challenge

This is Your Life ~ Switchfoot

Well... are you?
xo

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

~ Emily Dickinson

This is a favourite poem of mine. Mainly because I wish I could have written it myself (I may have fooled some of you as you started reading and didn't see the 'Emily Dickinson' at the end!) but also because it reminds me of this bible verse...

"In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." ~ 1 Peter 1:3b

And then this one...

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, certain of what we cannot see." ~ Hebrews 11:1 (I know a song for that one!)

And it's true. Hope is that little constant, quiet thing that frequently goes completely unnoticed. Often people underestimate it. But if there is even the slightest hope of something, then with God that hope is like dynamite. It can blow this world apart.

xo

p.s. A prayer request for a dear friend who is really struggling with some pretty intense stuff at the moment, that I will have the right words to say. Thanks :)

When 'Maybe' means 'No'.

I often find myself in situations where I'm skirting around what I actually want to say. I don't want to hurt feelings, or tread on toes, or become prey to judgement, so I just sit on the fence. 'Maybe' seems like the safest option. Going along with things seems easier than standing out and risking causing a stir.

Sometimes, however, my 'maybe' causes more hurt than I anticipate. It hurts those who I insult by deeming them not able to handle the truth. It hurts those who I tag along for the ride by not telling them where I'm actually going. It hurts those who continue in their sin because I didn't have the conviction to show them otherwise.

It hurts the God that made me and loves me, when I can't find the gumption to say

'No'

For the moments...

For the moments when the sun dances on my cheeks and plays with my hair,
When the tea has gone cold because life is too much fun,
When the hum of the sewing machine stirs creativity in my bones,
When the smell of musty books and the strum of guitars is enough,

I want you to be there.

For the moments when the rain drizzles down the pain rubbing salt into the wounds, 

When the ache in my chest threatens to overwhelm me,

When the tap-tap of the keyboard is the releasing of my mind,

When the birds lullaby my dreams and flowers soften my heart,

I want you to be there.

For the moments when the world is big but I am oh so small,

When the money is short but our laughs are long,

When the weather is poor but our hearts are rich,

When the sky is dark but our eyes are bright,

I want you to be there.

For the moments when the chances are slim but our smiles are wide,

When the burden is weighty but you are the light,

When the world is shallow but your love is deep,

When the reality of my imperfection is eclipsed by your gift of grace,

I want you to be there.

When all of me is longing for all of you,

I need you to be there.