Monday, 31 December 2012

Up

Inspired by several other beautiful bloggers, I have decided that I'm going to have a word for 2013.

This word did take a little thinking about. There are several feelings, emotions, goals and desires that I wanted it to try and encapsulate all in one. There are things I'm going through at the moment which I won't necessarily be going through in a few months time, but I will hopefully be coming out of. Where I go from there is of the utmost importance. My attitude to life is also something that needs to be grasped in this word. And this need to be something simple that I can think to myself in the low moments, when the going gets tough.

So this year's word is simple. Two letters. But with a world of meanings...


(May I just say at this point how much I am LOVING having Photoshop on the new laptop I got for Christmas!)

This year I'm going to be moving up. This year I'm going to be picking myself back up. This year I'm going to be cleaning myself up. This year I'm going to be looking up. This year I'm going to be focusing all things up. And this year the glory will go to the one that is up there.

In a week's time I will be turning 18. So this year will be my first year as an adult, even if I've sort of had to live like one for a few months now.

So maybe this is simply going to me growing up.

Please join me for the journey upwards as we continue Becoming Eve...!

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Simply because I'm a sucker for proposals...

Today I'm simply going to quickly put up a link to another blog.

I love this blog with a rather large chunk of my heart. I always have a window open on both my laptop and my phone, just so I never miss a post. I wish I had as much time and creativity to make and bake and thrift and put together the things that they do. They're incredible.

This post, however, is a slightly more personal one. It's an amazing moment when you suddenly get a really deep insight into the personal life of a blogger when normally you only admire their clothing or drool over their food.

For a year there has been a love story brewing. And then a few days ago, something happened...

Here is... Emma and Trey's Engagement Story!

Image taken from A Beautiful Mess

Please do go and check out all their other stuff too. I would love to meet them one day, or at least go visit Red Velvet.

Night all... x

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Star of Bethlehem

Once upon a time, there was a star. Perhaps he grew up no different to any of the other stars - we never can be quite sure of these things - but this star had a very special purpose.

In a time when all the world was changing until it would never be the same again, this little star was called to be a constant.

Out of all the stars in the whole galaxy, he was set apart and set in place by an almighty hand. His place in the heavenlies was so particular and so incredibly important, that should he move out of it, history would have gone a little bit differently.

From where he sat, this star could see a stable. It was slightly set back from the dimly glowing lights of the town, cut away into the rocks of the hills behind. Providing shelter from both man and the elements, the bustle of bodies moving about was stilled by the time you reached it's mouth, and the wind and rain could not quite reach inside.

During the day, a few animals had been led in to rest and the straw had been laid down for them to sleep for the night. Daylight moved on, darkness blanketed the surrounding hills and soon the lights of the town fell silent. Then the star watched as something peculiar happened.

A young girl, who could be no more than sixteen, appeared on the path, riding on a donkey. The donkey was led by a weary-looking man, carrying a small sack with little provisions. Upon arriving at the mouth of the stable, he gently lifted the girl down and laid her tenderly in the straw. The animals began to crowd round the couple, as the man led the donkey to a watering trough. It might be expected that the animals were attempting to push the couple off their land, yet they bowed their heads down towards the girl, and made no signs of aggressive advancement. Instead they cautiously stepped forwards, with simple curiosity.

The girl's skin was so young and delicate. Her clothes were plain and worn. Her hands, clasping her swollen belly, looked thin but not afraid of a hard day's work. Her soft features were framed by a mane of thick, curly hair, gently pulled back so as not to be in the way during the day's travel. Despite her girlish beauty, however, she did not look a vision of peace. The star could see her face was straining and contorting in pain, and her body was shaking from the cool chill of such a cloudless night.

The man was desperately trying to soothe her as she cried out in pain, holding her close to his chest, stroking her hair, speaking soft words through her anguish. The animals, sensing her distress, inched forward further. They began to circle the two strangers to their stable, and the man looked up at them with wary eyes. Then one of them sat, just alongside where the girl was laying. Another behind the man. Yet another behind the girl. Until they had created a circle around the two of them, protecting them from the cold wind, and providing a support for the young girl.

Hours passed and still heart-breaking cries were audible from the secluded stable.

And then, just as the dark began to release it's grip on the town below, there was a final cry, followed by a sigh of relief and delight. The star saw as the man gently lifted a bundle up to the girl's chest. She immediately embraced the bundle, a baby boy, and held it tight, just like the man had held her so many hours ago. Despite her joy, the girl was evidently exhausted, so the man took the bundle back from her, and placed it in the now-empty water trough from which the donkey had drank at their arrival. Watching him do so, a few of the animals moved towards the child too, and peered over, their breath warming his new-born cheeks.

The man lay back down in the straw, next to the girl, engulfing her in his embrace, swallowing her in to the safety of his arms. Her body became weak and limp, her eyes closed, and within moments, her breathing was soft and deep. Filled with joy, pride, relief, yet a lurking sense of foreboding, the man looked up at the star.

For a moment they knew each other. They could see exactly where the other was. One saw a new family. A loving mother and father, and a son who was born for more than either of them could have seen. And the other saw a star, who shone brighter than the others around him, directly above where this child lay.

Morning shuffled in and the star could not be seen, but the star still saw. The star watched movement reawaken in the town as the day's work began and people left their homes pulling carts and carrying baskets. But all was bliss in the stable. The family were in a world above the rest.

As the days passed, that star's place became more and more important. The couple in the stable had done their part for now. Now it was the star's turn. Visitors arrived, in time, guided by the light of that star. They brought gifts, sometimes simply of wonder and respect, but nothing would have been brought, if it had not been for that star.

Oh that I could be like that star. I want to be a guiding light towards the child in the stable. May people see me, and know where to go. May I always encourage people to bring their gifts, whoever they are, and whatever those gifts may be. May I embrace the darkness, as it is then that I have the opportunity to stand out most. May I remain where God places me, even if it means staying alone. May I always be found pointing to my Saviour.

Thursday, 20 December 2012

My Perfect Guy...

This post is actually going to be a little bit of a cheat.

I wrote a post a while back on a blog that I run with a few of my friends back from school. They are wonderful at keeping it going when I am completely useless, but I stumbled upon a post that I wrote a while back, and thought I would share it again...

~ * ~

I'm pretty sure we've all done it. Dreamed of the moment when we look up and see HIM. He's just smiling casually, and then he catches your eye and you both just KNOW. And that's it. Fast-forward and you're sailing off into the sunset for the perfect 'Happily Ever After'...

But I'm starting to learn that Prince Charming is what you make him. Bradley Cooper. Ryan Reynolds. THAT guy. Or maybe just pure fiction.

Hear me out here. I'm really not a cynic, but I'm also fully aware that I'm not perfect. (Spend 10 minutes with me and you'll find that out for yourself!) So why on earth do I expect my future husband to be perfect? As much as I would like him to be, in reality it's just not fair for me to have those kinds of expectations. I would feel so inadequate if he had those kinds of expectations of me, and although I want to be the best I can be for him, 'perfect' is never going to be attainable in this life.

I have spent years dreaming of the 'perfect' romance, the 'perfect' proposal, the 'perfect' wedding, and then the subsequent life of 'perfect' bliss. But the whole point of a meet-cute is that it can't be planned! Or at least not by us.

I have faith in a God who has already planned out my perfect romance. Whether that is with a guy who He has set apart to be mine, or whether that is with God, as in the end He should be the ultimate romancer of my soul.




From now on, my perfect guy is not perfect. But neither am I, so I guess he's perfect for me.

~ * ~

So there we are... If you would like to have a little wander over to our blog then then just click here and you will magically be transported to a very beau-tea-ful place!

God Bless x

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

The Devil and his armies

So once again it's been rather a long time since I've posted on here. A lot has changed. Exams have come and gone, results and university offers have been received, meaning that decisions soon have to be made. I've moved to a new city all by myself, which has resulted in finding a new family, establishing a new home away from home, and settling in to a new life pattern and routine. And my recent dating life has certainly not been uneventful, but positively fruitless and depressing.

I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of today's post is... Maybe just to get my mind focused again. Or maybe just to procrastinate from the imminent doom of needing to actually get on and pack. Nevertheless, I wanted to post today, so post I shall.

I'm never entirely sure how much of my personal life to share on here. Mainly because I'm never entirely sure who's reading. But if you are reading then welcome to a very open and sometimes painfully honest space. I hate to be vague, because I know in my own experience that I'm always desperate to know details, but I'm not sure if it's always fair to the other people involved in my life to tell you everything. I'll try my best though...

Lately I've been realising just how much the devil sucks. Seriously, he's just the most horrible person ever. Literally. All these low moments I keep having where I feel utterly terrible, uncool, boring, weird, undesirable, ugly, fat, shameful, disgusting, desperate, pathetic, lost and forgotten are all because of him. Deep down I probably know that they're all lies, but on that 'just-below-the-surface' layer - the one that's hidden to most people but still scarily and vulnerably close to the outside world - I start to feel like maybe they're true. I don't know how it happens. One moment I'm looking like everything's fine, and the next I plummet down, sinking alongside the titanic and several other good-ideas-at-the-time. No, I don't think I'm bipolar, but it's scary what a drastic effect the Devil can have on my life and how much space I allow him to do damage.

There are those moments where I feel like they don't want to talk to me because I'm not cool enough, or that he cheated on me because I'm not unforgettable enough, or that he doesn't like me because I'm not desirable enough, or that I'm single because I'm too pathetic, or that I'm lonely because I'm too desperate, or that every hurt I've ever felt is somehow my fault because I'm too much or not enough.

All those moments are where I have allowed the Devil a little corner in the space of my mind, which he has filled with such fear and doubt and darkness that it begins to take over all the rest of me. And so he wins. And then I blame myself for that too. And so he wins again. And then I start to feel like it will always be this way. And so he wins again. And then I start to feel like I'm never going to be able to change this. And so he wins again. And then I simply let him win. And then he's won.

But there's more than that. There's more than the guilt and shame. The truth is, I'm not able to change that cycle by myself. I can never take down Satan and all his armies by supper-time, let alone by breakfast when I've already allowed him space in the form of 'I'm too fat to eat'. But there's someone who will always take my side, always fight my battles, and always, always win. He's more powerful than the Devil will ever be, and he loves me so much that he fought to the death. Literally. No matter how many little battles I feel like I'm losing, the war is already won, and that's what counts. When I get to the end of the day, that's what matters.

It doesn't matter that the Devil's armies have marched in and set a camp of lies, because He will storm in with the Sword of Truth and tear them all down. Every time I let my guard down, He has promised to be there to clear out the invaders and help rebuild all the fortresses. They'll raise a flag in His name, and though they may be attacked, they will never be destroyed. Ever.



So next time I feel overpowered and invaded, I need to remember whose strength this war is really relying on. Thank goodness it's not mine! If I focus on His strength and His power and His might, then I think the Devil would really be taking rather a suicidal risk if he thinks he can ever dig any trench in me again.

I guess this post found a purpose after all, so I will now present it with a title...!

God Bless x