To those I have judged

I have a terrible habit. I'm a judger. Now I know they say that a lot of people do it, but I still don't think that that excuses me.

My main problem is when I judge someone who is close to me. Sometimes I feel like the person knows better than how they act. I feel like they're worth so much more than what they're doing, and they're allowing themselves to settle for a second-rate standard of living, when they were created for the best.

I love them so much that it hurts me to watch them make a mistake. But eventually what hurts me more, is my judgment that their mistakes are bigger than their place in my life and my heart. I no longer accept them as God does, because I feel like I know better and they need to change.

I allow my judgement to get in the way of more important things like love, gentleness and forgiveness.

'Clothe yourself in Compassion, Kindness, Humility, Gentleness, Patience, Forgiveness, bound together with Love.' ~ Thank you to Sarah for this beautiful picture based on Colossians 3:12

These are the things that should be most important, and should be held above all other things, whether my judgement is correct or not.

Because when it comes down to it, I am no better. I may think that I'm better at the time and that I would never make the same mistakes. But I do, and I have.

I try and justify it because 'My situation was different' and 'It doesn't affect them anymore', but sin is sin.

We all mess up sometimes. I should know this.

So it comes to this point where I need to apologise, but time has moved on and I can no longer tell those people that I'm sorry. That every part of me is disgusted with myself for the way I behaved. That I wish I could take it all back. Not only the judgment, but also my hypocrisy.

I so wish we could talk about all this and I could learn to see you as a Child of God again. Still learning. Trying his best.

If you ever read this... I'm sorry.